Exercise 4: The Self-Forgiveness & Self-Compassion Practice

This is a gentle invitation to release old burdens and reclaim your right to feel whole.

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves.

Not because we’ve done something unforgivable, but because we’ve learned to carry shame and guilt for things that were never our fault—or for ways we coped that once kept us safe.

This practice isn’t about forcing memories of joy that may feel locked away. Instead, it’s about honoring what you survived, how you kept going, and allowing your nervous system to gently begin trusting that safety, peace, and even joy are allowed in your life now.

What this practice supports:

• Letting go of harsh self-blame or internalized criticism

  
  

• Creating space for new experiences of comfort, ease, and presence

  
  

• Reconnecting with your body in a way that feels supportive

  
  

• Affirming that you are worthy of love and kindness right here, right now

  
  

Step 1: Acknowledgment Without Judgment

In the space below, write down anything you’re still holding against yourself.

It may be something you’ve said, done, or not done. Or it may be a way you feel you’ve let yourself down.

You are not required to justify or explain. You are simply witnessing your pain with compassion.

“I forgive myself for…”

(You may list more than one. Pause and take slow breaths as needed.)

Step 2: Gentle Reframe

Now, offer your younger self—or the part of you that’s still learning—words of kindness and understanding.

Here are a few sentence starters to guide you. Fill in what feels true for you.

• “I understand now that I was doing the best I could with what I knew.”

  
  

• “It makes sense that I felt that way, because…”

  
  

• “I was just trying to survive when I…”

  
  

• “I no longer need to carry the weight of…”

  
  

• “I am choosing to meet myself with compassion, because…”

Step 3: Reclaiming the Present

Now let’s gently turn toward the present.

Instead of looking for what made you happy as a child, try tuning in to what feels nourishing today. Start small. Even the simplest sensations count—warm sunlight, a song you like, the feeling of being wrapped in a blanket.

Complete these prompts with curiosity, not pressure:

• “Right now, something that feels good to me is…”

  
  

• “Something I’m open to trying or re-visiting is…”

  
  

• “My body feels most supported when…”

  
  

• “One way I could care for myself today is…”

  
  
  
  

Step 4: Future Soothing & Integration

Choose a moment in your week to do something simple, kind, or comforting for yourself—not because you have to, but because you are worth it.

This could be something tactile (like holding a warm cup of tea), sensory (like listening to a calming playlist), or emotional (like speaking kindly to yourself in the mirror).

Use the following prompts as a guide:

• “I will give myself the gift of…”

  
  

• “I will create a moment of peace by…”

  
  

Closing Reflection

Forgiveness isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about releasing yourself from the weight of self-blame and remembering that you are allowed to move forward.

You are not broken. You are becoming.

You are not too much. You are just right.

You are not your pain. You are your healing.

You are worthy of love, safety, joy, and rest.