Exercise 3: Making the Critical Voice Unfamiliar

There was a time when you may have needed to be hyperaware of your flaws to stay safe.

When being hard on yourself felt like protection, or even love.

But here’s the thing: You don’t need to live in that place anymore.

Self-criticism might feel familiar, but familiar doesn’t mean true.

And it certainly doesn’t mean helpful.

Your brain is designed to return to what it knows—even if it’s harsh, judgmental, or unfair. Especially if that voice sounds like someone from your past.

But you get to rewire that pattern now.

You get to choose which voices stay—and which ones no longer belong.

This exercise is about gently bringing awareness to the words you say to yourself when you’re hurting, struggling, or simply being human. And then… practicing new, kinder words. Not to bypass or sugarcoat your experience—but to shift your internal language into something that feels safer, softer, and more true.

Your Invitation:

Step 1: Gently Notice

In the first column, write down the critical or hurtful thoughts you tend to repeat to yourself. Don’t censor or judge them. Just notice them as old recordings—things that once felt familiar, but no longer serve you.

Step 2: Rewire with Compassion

In the second column, respond to each thought with a more supportive truth. Imagine speaking to a younger version of yourself—or someone you deeply love—and rewrite the statement in a way that brings comfort, clarity, or reassurance.

Step 3: Release & Reclaim

Once your new affirming words are written, take a moment to strike through the old critical statements in the first column. You can cross them out, erase them, or even rip the page if it feels right. This symbolic act helps your brain begin to let go of those familiar, but false, messages—and replace them with new ones that feel empowering and safe.

Unfamiliar Thought (Old Criticism)

“I always mess things up.”

“I’m too sensitive.”

Familiar Thought (New Truth)

“I’m allowed to make mistakes. I learn and grow from them.”

“My sensitivity is a strength. It helps me connect and care deeply.”

(Use more lines as needed.)

Closing Reflection

You don’t need to be perfect.

You just need to be present with yourself—in the moment you need love the most.

Every time you soften your inner dialogue, you send a new signal to your nervous system:

I am safe. I am growing. I don’t have to be so hard on myself anymore.

This is how change begins.

Quietly. Repetitively. Gently.

So imagine this:

You’re facing a challenge in the near future. Maybe you make a mistake or feel overwhelmed.

And instead of the old voice rushing in, you hear a pause.

A breath.

And then a new voice—your own—speaking softly, kindly:

“I’m doing my best. And that’s enough right now.”

Let this new language become your home.

One thought at a time. One breath at a time.

You’re rewiring the way you speak to yourself.

And you are doing it beautifully.